A Month Later

I am doing better then I thought lol At least I didn't go past a month this time! It hasn't quite hit a month yet since my last post actually :p

Things have been super hectic! When are they no though! Aedan started an after school program, I ended up in the ER with tachycardia and costochondritis (it's now better thank God!), school started for me last month, I am starting to crochet inventory to re-open my Etsy shop (WOOHOO!!!) and to top it off, we have someone moving in with us tomorrow!

I would have to admit the last bit makes me a little nervous. The person that will be staying with us for a while (honestly I have no clue how long) use to be a big part of my life when we were in Germany. We were constantly together, we were like dirt under a nail or gum under a shoe. Where one went the other one was bound to be there as well. You get the idea, well we had a pretty big falling out. In these past two years we have slowly rekindled our friendship and like I have said before, I'm a helper. Thats something I can't help lol If someone is in need, I try to help in any way I can and in this case, its a place to stay.

This will be a huge lesson for me. A lesson in keeping strong and guarded. Not letting myself get crushed like I did in the past. This will show me if our friendship is back to where it was before anything ever happened or if it could ever get there.

In these two years I have been back stateside, I have learned a lot about myself and have become much stronger then I ever thought I could be. I'm determined not to let my guard down and with God by my side, I know everything will be just fine!

Dreaming

Al I want to do us run away, run away to a place where everything is perfect. I know, there is no such place. If there were though; I wouldn't be depressed, ADHD, have sleeping problems, my migraines would be non existing and I wouldn't be trying to figure out what's going on with my heart rate. My kids wouldn't have any medical issues, hubby would have more patience and everything would be honky dory.

A girl can dream right? But I know everything happens for a reason. God has a purpose for everything he does! There's a lesson to be learned in everything, whether we like it or not. I just have to keep faith in Him.

Sucks!

Why is it that I have this huge urge to craft but I feel like poop? Since Sunday I've been nauseous, with a headache, tired and to top it off my joints hurt on my right side. This totally sucks because I'm right handed. I want to crochet, do some wood burning and finish an art piece I started last week. Guess everything will be done it short pieces so I don't kill my poor hand :/

Prep

This week has been great! Seeing family, friend's, getting back onto following the steps of God and doing a bit of maintenance in our home.

We decided that since we both start school soon, we needed as much free time as possible. After some time we came up with prepping meals ahead of time. It's a bit hectic and time consuming, but I'm definitely liking it!

As of now we have quite a few meals prepped in the freezer so all we have to do is defrost and cook! A few more meals to prep tomorrow and we will have enough meals for 2 weeks. Eeek!

Finally

I read a blog today that totally inspired me to start blogging again! Blogging and I have not been the best of friends, I always felt like I wasn't writing anything entertaining/interesting and mostly because all the blogs I would run across seemed to always be fashion or craft blogs. Although I do consider myself crafty, my stuff are pretty basic and no way am I all that fashionable so I just wouldn't blog.

I have come to the conclusion that I want to use my blog for what it was originated for, as a journal. Documenting my life, my highs my lows, my crafts and if I totally like an outfit, then yes my "fashion" as well! This blog from now on will be used as my journal, if you read it good and if you don't, that's good too.

Stimulated Brain

EMDR.

My fist visit with Doc was the very first time I had ever heard of this. I was to go home and look it up because soon I would be in an office waiting to have this done. 

It wasn't hard to find a good descriptive definition online. There is actually a website specified to it, www.emdr.com. The definition bellow comes directly from there.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. 

Once I knew what I was getting myself into I scheduled my first appointment. Three appointments later, here I am. My first real session done and I am completely overwhelmed! I was done with my session three hours ago and I still have this huge knot in chest.

We started off the session with my "disturbing life experience" and ended up talking about two different uncles, an aunt and a cousin. I knew that different images could possibly be jumping out me but I never thought that they would very this much and make me as emotional as they did!

I was told my brain will be stimulated for the next 5-7 days, which means thoughts of something from my past could randomly pop up that can possibly upset me. I guess all I can do is wait and see. Next session is scheduled for the 10th. Hopefully my brain will let me stay calm till then.

Personal

Warning!! Long Post!!!

Besides my husband, sister, parents and close friend/neighbor, I haven't told anyone else so please don't judge.

Right after my last post I got into a pretty bad depression, well at least for me it was. I have realized that I have always struggled with depression but have been able to keep it well hidden, but all those years had finally crept up and I just couldn't hide it any more. All I wanted to do was sleep, I stopped working out, every little thing would make me mad, plus I would find myself crying for no reason. With two small children at home, this was NOT acceptable at all!

After some research, I knew I had to talk to a Psychiatrist. Seeing as my husband is Military and me not being sure if I was going to need a referral, I sent my doctor a message. A few hours later I got a reply saying that a referral was not necessary, all I needed to do was find one around me that accepted Tricare. A little scared and nervous, I started Googling Psychiatrist in my area and found one with great reviews. I called them to see if they accepted Tricare and to see if they were accepting new patients, which they quickly answered yes to both. Now all I had to do was go online and fill out a new patient survey of sorts, wait for them to review it and call me back to schedule an appointment.

While I waited nervously, I got the courage to talk to my husband. This part was the hardest! All I could think was that he was going to think I was weak and I didn't want him disappointed in me. Luckily I have a very loving and supporting husband! He held me and told me that I wasn't crazy but if I really wanted to see a Psychiatrist, I had all his support! The next day I got the call and a few days later I was in an office awaiting my name to be called.

The "Doc" was very easy to talk to and I learned a lot about myself on this day! Besides being depressed, I also suffer from PTSD, which explains the reoccurring nightmares I have had about all my life. Not only that but I also have ADD which has messed with my sleeping habits. I left there understanding why I am the I am and why I do the things I do. Doc also sent me home with 3 different prescriptions, and a business card for an EMDR specialist who he wanted me to go see.

It's been 5 weeks since my 1st visit and things are starting to look up.

To Be Continued

A Week Away

It's almost that time, time to see if I met my challenge. As of now I need about 2lbs to go, which I'm sure I can loose by Wednesday of next week. The question is if I can run the 10 min mile :/

I know that last time I wrote about the challenges I was doing. Well like usual I kinda dropped the ball on them. That doesn't mean I stopped working out! I continued to work out from home and attempted to eat as healthy as I could, which seems to have worked so I'm happy :)

Although the scale hasn't always been my friend though this past couple of weeks, I have noticed a difference in my size. I haven't measured myself since the 1st time but my clothes are loose! My husband took us shopping yesterday and I brought home size 7 jeans and small shirts! I can't remember the last time I wore either!

Yessss

So excited! My loves got me a Sportline watch for mother's day. I had been looking at heart rate monitors for a while but never purchased one. Always thought "what for, you don't actually work out." Now it's a different story and I'm so glad I finally have one! Properly keeping track of my heary rate and calories is going to help a ton.

It's A Must!

Quite a few people know that I have been itching to chop my hair completely off, but have been restraining myself from it just to please my hubby. Well not no more!

Hubby has agreed to let me chop it off if I get down to 125 by my birthday! That gives me 5 weeks to loose 5lbs! I have never been so determined to loose 5lbs until now!

But wait...

There are a few conditions :/ I have to run a mile in 10 min, do 17 push ups and 45 sit ups. I should have known that there was going to be a catch lol It's ok though, that just gives me an extra push to get myself in shape! Plus I REALLY want to chop my hair all off!

Pixie cut her I come!

***UPDATE***
Mu husband just changed my conditions! I no longer have to do the sit ups or push ups! The 10 minute run is still a must but I'm totally okay with that :)

A Few Too Many

I've always been self conscious about my body. This year I've decided to change that.

With that being said, I give you my before pictures.

These pictures are from last week. Weighing in at 133.2 and measuring:

34 waist
38 hips
20.5 thighs (both same)
11 arms (both same)
14 calfs (both same)
And I just realized I forgot to measure my chest :/ I better get on that asap!

I don't have a goal for my measurements but I do my weight. I would love to get down to 125 by my birthday, so that gives me about a month.

As of now all my workouts are from home. I walk pushing my son in the stroller about 2 miles every other day; sometimes I even jog a bit. Walking is not enough I know,  that's why I'm also doing 3 30 day challenges: the squat, plank, and crunches.

Hopefully it will all pay off at the end of the 30 days.

It's a new month. Well I might be a day late but I'm here :) A new month means new goals/challenges I have set for myself and May has accumulated a few. Mostly health ones, which is what I'll mostly be posting about. One of them being:

This challenge started today. I have taken before pictures for this, which I will admit I am a bit hesitant to post. That won't stop me though lol but that will be a post all on its own.

My blog is called Mama Le Daily so it wont just be this months goals, I'll be throwing in some of my daily routines as well. I have a few post all ready brewing in my head lol Hopefully everything will go just as planned.

Torn

That's exactly how I'm feeling. There are 3 different eating habits that's in looking at and can't seem to choose. I thought I had found the one when I posted last, but since then I've been doing some more reaserch.

There's the 6 small meals a day, my mom's nutritionists meal plan (which unfortunately I'm not allowed to share, I will say that it consists of three meals a day with LOTS of veggies) and lastly, the paleo plan.

I'm in love with all three, choosing the right one is what I'm having a little bit of a hard time with. I have to keep in mind that I'm doing this not just for me, this is a life style change for the entire family.

6 small meals is hard with my husband. My mom's is hard on my kids because it consists of lots of veggies. Although my kids do eat them, they need more. Now paleo, only thing with that one is that we are huge grain eaters :(

After typing all this out I think I finally figured it out. My mom is going to be a bit disappointed but I'm sure she will understand. It might take my family a little bit to get it fully going, but paleo it is.

All we can do is start slowly.

Stoked

I'm super stoked!

Finally got my 1st real workout in for the year a few days ago, which by the way I'm still sore from LOL Plus, I came across an awesome blog yesterday when looking for clean eating meal ideas before heading to the grocery store.

Meals Fit for a Family has a ton of different meal plans, complete with shopping lists and recipes.  All her meals look super easy and sound delicious! I have the turkey chili pie in the crockpot now and it smells awesome. Her shopping list made it super easy for me to go grocery shopping yesterday. I loved going in there with a list of what I needed and knowing exactly why!

Just in case you were wondering, the menus are based on 6 small meals a day and she also gives you times of when you should be eating each meal. The 1st meal starts at 6am, which does not work with me since I don't get up until 6:45am. Its ok though, I can customize it to my schedule which I totally love!

I'm hoping this great blog find and me being back at the gym gets me to where I want to be.

Here's my breakfast for this morning from the Week 1-2 menu of Meals Fit for a Family. Whites Spinach Feta Omelet didn't just sound delicious, it WAS delicious!

Start

I finally started 2 more of my New Years goals and both got started the same day :) Its about time I know lol

Can't wait till I can finally take my lovers car out by myself! Well past my street that is lol Today was the 1st time I drove my lovers 350z by myself without him telling me what to do. I would have to say I did pretty good. Stalled a crap load of times but I finally got the hang of it on my last go at it. Hoping to get a chance to do it again tomorrow.

Scheduling

We are half way threw the January and I have yet to really start any of my New Years resolutions :(

Gyms been postponed do to my crazy work schedule.

Eating habits aren't quite there yet.

I at least started a book lol

And here I am blogging so that's also good. Now to try to kick it up a notch and get on the right track!

So many things I want to accomplish this year! I really need to sit down think out my month and plan everything out so I can get it all done. Well at least I'm hoping that will help.

New Year New Goals

This year I set myself 10 New Years goals. Starting off with a healthier smaller me. I'm not to sure how I'll do because this is the 1st year I actually set goals for myself...I won't say I'm determined to check them all off because I know that that is not a word for me! I will say that I'll try my best! To help me out I have set up a check list on my Kindle Fire as well as a count down that will help me keep an eye on a few with specific numbers.

Wishing for a great year with my awesome little family!

Work

I think I need to set a weekly alarm to remind me to blog. Im bad as it is and especially now that I'm working!

Weeks ago I should have posted my update on my weight loss goal but never got around to it, so here it is. All tho I don't have a picture and I didn't quite meet my goal, I did get down to 139 by my goal date. Since then Iv been fluctuating, which I know is horrible :( I'm hoping that now that I'm working and can't eat as I please, when I please, I can keep a steady weight.

Busy Bee

I love being asked to crochet special little somethings. These past two months I had two orders to fulfill. The 1st was for a birthday girl in love with Hello Kitty. I was asked to make a scarf. This one to be exact. At a glance I was a bit skeptical but figured I could do it. I got all the regular squares done 1st and then her face. Her face killed me =/ The details are so small that I had the hardest time doing them and then once they were on I still had to use a dab of fabric glue to make sure they didn't pop out of place. At the end I was pretty happy with it, but I'm now determined to find away to make her eyes and nose look even better lol

The birthday girls mamí happens to be a one of the friends I made at our 1st duty station who is expecting a baby boy =] While she is stationed in Germany and I miss German chocolate and their delicious teas, we agreed to a little barter. A care package from Germany for a baby blanket. Now I LOVE making baby blankets so I was super excited to get started. I had all ready decided I wanted to make this blanket different, a pattern/stitch I had never done before so I turned to my trusty friend Google. After a few min I found the pattern I wanted to use. I am super in love with it that I am seriously considering making one for us =]

A Family Affair

Last weekends baking of pumpkin bread turned into a mini photo session and all around a family affair. The boys love helping me bake cook and even more when they get to help daddy! Daddy usually cooks alone because he rarely follows recipes and likes to be able to move around freely in the kitchen, so the boys don't usually get to help him. I had originally asked daddy to help me and he decided it would be fun to asked the boys. They were over ecstatic! My boys are pretty awesome in the kitchen and the bread was delicious!

Happy Baking!