Stimulated Brain

EMDR.

My fist visit with Doc was the very first time I had ever heard of this. I was to go home and look it up because soon I would be in an office waiting to have this done. 

It wasn't hard to find a good descriptive definition online. There is actually a website specified to it, www.emdr.com. The definition bellow comes directly from there.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. 

Once I knew what I was getting myself into I scheduled my first appointment. Three appointments later, here I am. My first real session done and I am completely overwhelmed! I was done with my session three hours ago and I still have this huge knot in chest.

We started off the session with my "disturbing life experience" and ended up talking about two different uncles, an aunt and a cousin. I knew that different images could possibly be jumping out me but I never thought that they would very this much and make me as emotional as they did!

I was told my brain will be stimulated for the next 5-7 days, which means thoughts of something from my past could randomly pop up that can possibly upset me. I guess all I can do is wait and see. Next session is scheduled for the 10th. Hopefully my brain will let me stay calm till then.

Personal

Warning!! Long Post!!!

Besides my husband, sister, parents and close friend/neighbor, I haven't told anyone else so please don't judge.

Right after my last post I got into a pretty bad depression, well at least for me it was. I have realized that I have always struggled with depression but have been able to keep it well hidden, but all those years had finally crept up and I just couldn't hide it any more. All I wanted to do was sleep, I stopped working out, every little thing would make me mad, plus I would find myself crying for no reason. With two small children at home, this was NOT acceptable at all!

After some research, I knew I had to talk to a Psychiatrist. Seeing as my husband is Military and me not being sure if I was going to need a referral, I sent my doctor a message. A few hours later I got a reply saying that a referral was not necessary, all I needed to do was find one around me that accepted Tricare. A little scared and nervous, I started Googling Psychiatrist in my area and found one with great reviews. I called them to see if they accepted Tricare and to see if they were accepting new patients, which they quickly answered yes to both. Now all I had to do was go online and fill out a new patient survey of sorts, wait for them to review it and call me back to schedule an appointment.

While I waited nervously, I got the courage to talk to my husband. This part was the hardest! All I could think was that he was going to think I was weak and I didn't want him disappointed in me. Luckily I have a very loving and supporting husband! He held me and told me that I wasn't crazy but if I really wanted to see a Psychiatrist, I had all his support! The next day I got the call and a few days later I was in an office awaiting my name to be called.

The "Doc" was very easy to talk to and I learned a lot about myself on this day! Besides being depressed, I also suffer from PTSD, which explains the reoccurring nightmares I have had about all my life. Not only that but I also have ADD which has messed with my sleeping habits. I left there understanding why I am the I am and why I do the things I do. Doc also sent me home with 3 different prescriptions, and a business card for an EMDR specialist who he wanted me to go see.

It's been 5 weeks since my 1st visit and things are starting to look up.

To Be Continued